


Smile as an inside joke

by Air_Is_Here



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Bonding (Naruto), Eating Disorders, Everyone Needs A Hug, Femboy Sasuke, No Spoilers, Panic Attacks, Parental Hatake Kakashi, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Self-Harm, Uzumaki Naruto Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23652277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Air_Is_Here/pseuds/Air_Is_Here
Summary: Naruto, the preteen who seems so full of himself, so hyper, is the same kid who feels like he was born to disappoint. His team is holding together, barely noticing. What happens when Team 7 goes on a mission and Naruto's secrets slip?There are no pairings/ships in this story. I will not spoil anything major I promise :)
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 22
Kudos: 115





	1. Prologue (Chapters get longer)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the prologue. It is going to be short. I promise that chapters will be waaaayyy longer in the future. I'm actually half way done with another chapter

“Okay, I think that’s enough training today.” Kakashi said to his team, then takes out his book and walks away reading Make Out Paradise.

Naruto grumbled something that nobody had heard, then said something about going to eat Ramen, and walked away, tugging his sleeve down. As soon as he was far enough from his team, he dropped his happy go lucky attitude. He got stares and whispers from a few people who recognised him. All of a sudden He saw someone teleport to him.

“AHH!! WHAT THE-” the blonde yelled at the sudden appearance of the older white haired man, who then covered his mouth.

“Not so loud! You screamed louder than Sakura when I showed up to her house! Anyways, I forgot to tell you that you guys will have the day off to pack because the day after tomorrow we have a mission to the Mist Village. Raked D, all we need to do is take some fabric shipments to the supplier in the village.” Kakashi said, then made a hand sign and disappeared before Naruto could say a word.

“Well. Guess that means I have to hide my problems better. Come to think of it, I don’t need Ramen tonight.” Naruto grumbled and then proceeded to walk to his apartment, sighing. His mind knew he was hungry, but didn’t want him to eat. 

(CHAPTERS WILL GET LONGER)


	2. Day Before hurts less Than two days after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto goes grocery shopping, and Kakashi learns the real reason they were given the mission to the leaf village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly Filler, I'm setting the stage for the next chapter. I'm sorry if I write like trash. I started my antidepressants and now I feel like doing nothing with no emotion.

Naruto sits on the floor beside his bed, remembering the events of last night, blankly staring off into space. His mind starts to wander off. The blonde starts to think of all the looks he gets from others, the sudden look of disliking when he enters the room. 

_Damn it, it’s too early to want to cut! I can’t do that now!_ _  
_Naruto’s stomach growls, reminding him that he needs to eat something and actually start training, or at the least packing. So, he gets up and goes to the mini pantry, and fishes out a package of cupped ramen. Starting the kettle for the hot water needed, the preteen starts to stare off into space.

After a few minutes, Uzumaki is pulled out of his trance by the whistle of the kettle. He looks around, wondering where the noise is coming from.

“Crap! I forgot about the water!” 

Running to the stove, Naruto grabs the kettle and pours the water into the Instant-Ramen bowl, burning the tips of his fingers with how hot the kettle actually was. Hissing in pain, the blonde puts the kettle down.

“Well that’s some skin I’ll never get back…” Naruto grumbles, squeezing his burnt fingertips in the fist of his non-burnt hand. He hears a knock on his door and he hisses.

“Dobe, open the door! Apparently Sensei wants us to do some groceries,” Sasuke yells with his usual bitch attitude. 

“Alright alright. Excited to see me, teme?” Naruto shoots back through the door, opening it. “And just why would Kakashi want us to get groceries? Can’t he do that himself?” 

“Stupid, It’s for the mission! Food isn’t as cheap or nice tasting as the one we have here! Plus, since we are staying at some shop owners house, who, not to mention, will not be home, we might as well provide our own food.” Sakura yells. “We can’t just be rude!”

“Alright, alright I’m coming. Let me change.” Naruto says, looking at the Ramen he wasn’t going to eat.

_Not that I needed to eat more ramen._

“Took you long enough.” Sasuke says, smirking at Naruto as he exits the room. The blond just waves his hands in a ‘whatever’ motion, rolling his eyes, for the short blonde is too tired to care. As they walk to the store, Sakura starts talking.

“Geez, what’s up with you two always fighting? Anyways, we need Bread, 3 cans of canned soup, any kind for us, but Sensei says he wants pork noodle soup. We also need, lets see, carrots, apples, and broccoli.”

“Why the heck would we need apples for?” The blue eyed boy exclaims loudly, earning a few stares.

“Keep it quiet! And how would I know? Ask Kakashi sensei!” the useless pink haired girl whispers loudly and gives Naruto a tiny shove.

“Hey! You can’t just-”

“Shut up you two! If you haven’t noticed, we walked right past the Grocery Mart.” Sasuke says, and Sakura blushes in embarrassment. 

“Sorry Sasuke, thank you for telling us.” The pinkette says softly and blushes. The three turn around, and walk to the store. As they walk in, Naruto is aware that he in fact has not eaten anything yet.

_Get a hold of yourself Naruto! You are in control of yourself, you can’t eat until tomorrow! Just, make sure you get canned soup with the least amount of calories. Yeah, or just throw it back up! Wait…. Then they might hear it._

Naruto shakes himself from his intrusive thoughts, and goes back to his usual oblivious mask of an attitude. 

“Okay, Naruto, you stand by the door and don’t touch anything. Knowing you, you will just get in the way.” Sakura says, and by the way she sounds, she didn’t say it to hurt him (Despite the fact that it hurt the Blonde).

Naruto makes an angry face, and puts his hand into a fist, trying not to let his hurt side seep through. _She didn’t mean it she didn’t mean it that way she didn’t mean it that way she did mean it that way she did and she hates you._

“Eh? What’s that face for? Are you gonna let a girl hurt your feelings?” Sasuke says smirking, but then again, he was just teasing Naruto.

Naruto however, does not realise this. He only thinks of one thing and it’s his wrists. He sniffles before yelling.

“No! How could I let someone hurt my feelings? It won’t matter when I’m Hokage.” the boy says back, faking his smile. You would have to squint to see the hurt in his eyes. “Whatever, just go do your shopping.”. And with that, Sasuke and Sakura leave to go get some food. Naruto stands there pretending to not pay attention.

“Tch. Isn’t that him?” the blond hears someone say, and he gulps audibly.

“Oh my god, you’re right. The Demon Fox kid.” Another person says, catching the boy’s attention and making him look to the floor/

“Looks so Lonely. Serves him right. He deserves it.” The first one says again, with a boiling hatred building up in his eyes.

“He’s a psycho, an embodiment of a killer.”

Naruto would be lying if he said that this did not hurt. He just looks up and smiles, tears building in his eyes. _Don’t cry don’t cry don’tcrydon’tcryDON’TCRY_

After a few more minutes of the two boys talking about Naruto, Sasuke comes back. The boys continue poking fun at the Ramen lover.

“Oi, Dobe, Sakura wanted me to make sure you didn’t cause a scene or pick any fights with strangers.”

“What is he, your babysitter?” The first boy says, as the second one cackles. “Oh-oh! I bet he’s your evil sidekick to accompany you!”

Naruto is frozen in fear. _Not now, why did this situation have to be now!! Sasuke looks like he doesn’t get the hint though, so I’m fine._

“Whatever. Just come to the counter and choose a soup you wan-” Sasuke says, but Naruto interrupts.

“Actually, I don’t want soup, can I get some canned radishes?” the blonde interrupts. Normally, he hates radishes, but anything over this control. Well, Naruto knows it’s not really that. He just can’t stop. He tried in other ways to control, but now He self harms and throws up, and can’t stop either.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, Iruka, what did you want to talk to me about?” Kakashi says. Iruka awkwardly looks into Kakashi’s eyes.

“It’s best we talk this over some Ramen.” The academy teacher says, and drags Kakashi to the nearest Ramen place. “Uh, we will order in a bit.” he saya, sitting down.

Kakashi simply does not understand. Why does Iruka look like he is about to give Kakashi some bad news?

“Get on with it. What’s this about?” The white haired man said boredly as the brunette looks for the best way to tell him.

“You know how Naruto and Sasuke currently don’t have any parents to teach them stuff that other students with parents know? Like, Sakura?”

“Yeah, and?” the masked man says, not getting the hint whatsoever. 

“That means they weren't taught the things a kid should have an understanding of at this age, right? So, um, I’m telling you that you need to teach them about the ‘cats and dogs’.”

“What?” Kakashi says, not understanding what he meant.

“You know, the ‘fruits and vegetables’.” Iruka tries again, but the Team 7 leader doesn’t understand.

“What do you mean? I’m pretty sure Naruto and Sasuke know what fruits and vegetables are-”

“Oh my god. I’m talking about the ‘Birds and the Bees’!” The brunette says again miserably, obviously avoiding saying the real thing. Kakashi still doesn’t get it.

“Stop playing around Iruka, get to the point. I can handle it.”

“They don’t understand….” Naruto’s former sensei pauses, then continues. “They never learned about Sex. Or pregnancy. Or the science behind it. And other stuff.”

“But how does that relate to me?” the taller man says. And then it dawns on him. “You want me to-”

“Are you ready to order?” The person behind the counter says. Iruka quickly spouts two orders, and then goes back to the conversation.

“Yes. I can’t do it to them. I’m not the right person. And The reason the Hokage gave you this mission is because he wanted a more family-like setting. You will be leaving tomorrow, the shop closes for two days due to a festival, and I expect you to use that time.”

Kakashi’s face pales, but he says he will still do it.


	3. Panic and Rowboats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to the Village Hidden in the Mist, Naruto has a panic attack. This chapter is a little Out of character with Kakashi helping Naruto, and Naruto panicking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KAKASHI AND NARUTO ARE A BIT OUT OF CHARACTER. Sorry, I suck at this thole fanfiction thing. Comment some feedback if you want

\--------------[Time skip to next morning]------

Naruto wakes up 10 minutes past his alarm, and doesn’t realize until he is halfway dressed and looking at the time.

“Shit! I’m late!” Naruto says. “I should maybe eat something small… There will be quite some walking. Yeah, I’ll eat some Grapes.” 

Grabbing a small handful of grapes, Naruto eats them, then he decides to finish getting ready. Walking out the door, The blonde sighs, knowing that this will be the first out of the village mission since his change in attitude. What a shame that his team will one day find out about the way all of the village treats him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why isn’t Naruto here yet! He is always late and holding us back.” Sakura complains to Sasuke, who isn’t even paying attention to his fellow teammate. All of a sudden Kakashi appears, and walks towards them.

“Yo. Sorry I’m late, I ran into a fierce dog and I didn’t want to bother it.” The Jonin says, then continues. “Anyways, now that we are all here, let's get- huh? Where is Naruto?”

“He’s late! Later than you Kakashi sensei! He’s even later than you this time.” Sakura yells. Sasuke just sighs. 

“Give him a few minutes. He probably just overslept. Tch. Moron.” Sasuke says coolly. And low and behold, Naruto is seen rushing towards the team.

“Hey! Guys! I’m here!” Naruto says, huffing from all the running he did so he wouldn’t be left behind. Nobody seemed to notice that Naruto’s hand had blood dripping down from it when he adjusted his backpack. Naruto didn’t tell anyone about it, because then they would see his cuts, so he just shook it off, hoping it would dry.

“Ok. I hope you packed light bags for this trip. Anyways, if we start any later, we would arrive at the worst near sundown, depending on whether or whether not we get lost.” The team 7 leader says, and everyone nods. “Alright then. Let's get to it.”

\-----------TheAuthorIsALazyFuck,TimeSkipTimeskipTimeskip------------

  
  


“Are we anywhere near, Kakashi sensei?” Naruto complains. “My feet hurt.”

“Yeah. We are near the bridge- Oh?” The taller man says to his team, pausing. “The sign here says the bridge is closed due to the festival preparations.” The white haired man finishes, and then thinks for a bit. “Guess we will have to take a boat. Although don’t expect anything fancy. Just a Rowboat.” 

Naruto’s eyes widened.  _ Oh hell no. I can’t ever tell the difference between seasickness and a panic attack. I don’t ever want to trust another person to row. He could tip us over and- _

“Naruto! We’re going to leave you behind if you don’t move!” Sakura yells to Naruto who is behind. He just nods and tries to put a smile back on. 

Sasuke can’t shake the feeling of something being off with his blonde friend.  _ The dobe is acting really strange lately. What is he hiding? _

“Okay, sounds good. Here is the money. Alright. Come on guys, let's go.” Kakashi says, and Naruto’s face pales even further. 

When it’s Naruto’s turn to step on the boat, his heart drops. He takes a step, and the boat rocks a bit, causing the blue eyes boy’s breath to hitch. Swallowing his emotions, he takes another step onto the boat, and almost falls, but Sasuke caught him by his arm. Nobody noticed he winced. Sitting down, the last person (which is Sakura) gets on the boat, and then the person who rows, well, he starts rowing.

“The waves are pretty bad. It could take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to reach the Hidden Mist Village.” The rower guy says. All of a sudden, the boat starts rocking, and Naruto’s stomach flips. He covers his ears in an attempt to block out the noise of the waves. He tries to keep his eyes open, and to not squeeze them shut. He isn’t seasick. 

Sasuke stares at Naruto, wondering what’s wrong with him. He looks fine, but he’s acting like he’s not. Sasuke begins to go deep into thought, listing all the possible things that could be physically wrong with his friend.  _ Migraine? Possible, or Maybe he has a stomachache, but then why would he cover his ears. Maybe his ears hurt. _

Kakashi taps Sasuke on the shoulder, putting down his copy of Make Out Paradise, and then saying with smiling eyes “You looked deep in thought.”. The boat starts to rock worse this time. The blonde shuts his eyes tight, and manages to grip his hair with his ears closed. Nobody hears him breathing heavily, hyperventilating.

Naruto can only try and be calm. He is failing. Covering his ears can’t keep out his mind.  _ Crap! They are going to know. I can’t do it, I can’t they will find out cut no cut I can’t what? I don’t- I can- blades in your bag- no-i need i n- Air!!! It’s salty I’m drowning I’m above water. Above above above i’m not-, why can’t I? They know. Get a grip! You are going to die because the boat will flip and they will save themselves and you are drowning seasick drowning shutupshutupshutupSHUTUP _

“Sensei, What’s going on with Naruto?” Sakura asks.

“He’s been pale since the mention of going on a rowboat.” Sasuke mentions. At this point, nobody is really sure what’s up. The blonde doesn't even notice that his teammates are staring at him.

“Naruto.” Kakashi says. Hoping he will respond. The boy tightens his grip around his ears. Kakashi then stands up, moving next to his pale and shaking subordinate. “Hey. What’s going on?” he tries again in a demanding tone, not knowing how to handle the situation. Still no response. The masked sensei makes one swift motion to grab his wrists and pulls his hands away from his ears and hair. Naruto starts shaking violently and his breathing is quickened. Kakashi notices and grabs his student and pulls him in a way that they are right next to each other.

“Sasuke, let’s mind our own business. I don’t think we should butt in.” The useless teammate says, and both of them look away and busy themselves with other things.

“I- the- Can’t f-f- I’m s-s-so-rry- it- I can't- no I- no can’t- need-” Naruto gasps out, in an attempt to form a sentence, but fails and hyperventilates harder.

“Shhhh don’t talk. Okay?” Kakashi sensei says in a calm (yet blank) hushed tone. Naruto tries to listen, but his heart beats louder, making it feel like his chest would explode. Kakashi then realises that Naruto isn’t in any physical pain. The white haired male now fully realises that he is not that great at emotionally helping people.

_ Don’tcrydon’tcrydon’t- you can’t cut- no- yes- stop- I’m drowning- Too much too much too much please no no no I don’t- can- no-  _ Naruto can’t get these thoughts to stop overflowing his mind, almost as if it’s corrupting him.

Kakashi puts a hand on Naruto’s shoulder, making sure his other hand stays on the wrists of his student so he doesn’t cover his ears. “Naruto, breathe slowly. With me. Okay? In...Hold for 3 seconds, Out. Okay, again. In...Hold for 3...Out. You’re okay.”

_ No I’m not I’m drowning I can hear it I need to stopstopstop leave me can’t I want- nonononono  _ The panicked boy thinks, not calming.

“Hey, hey. No, you’re okay. You are fine. You aren’t in any danger. Look, It’s me, Kakashi. You aren’t in danger. I got you. Breath.” Kakashi says calmly and quietly so nobody else in the team would hear the two, then proceeds to take his vest off and put it around Naruto. The white haired man pulls Naruto in close, trying not to make a scene among his other team members. “Let’s go back to breathing. In… Hold for 3… Out. Do it with me.”Kakashi breathes with Naruto to set an example.

Naruto tries breathing along properly as Kakashi assures Naruto that nothing is wrong, that his student is safe.

“S-sensei I’m s-s-s-sorry I am n-not s-supposed to show em-emotions as a- n-ninja I didn’t- I-” The blue eyed boy stutters out softly. 

“It’s not that. I’m not mad. This is something as a team we need to work on. And besides. You can’t help things like these. You can prevent them. Do they happen often?” The masked sensei says, and he really isn’t mad. Kakashi’s hand moves to his back, keeping another hand on his shoulder.

“W-well… Sometimes…” 

“When we go back to the Hidden Leaf Village, do you want me to refer you to a specialist?” Jonin says.

“No, please don’t. I don’t want people to know. I don’t want to have anyone I don’t know do or know anything.” 

“Fine, but we will have to work on this. Just for now, keep taking deep breaths.” Kakashi says, going back to his regular blank attitude. Naruto hands back the older Ninja’s vest and nods.

“Please don’t tell Sasuke or Sakura about this.” Naruto says. Kakashi then reaches into his bag and pulls out a granola bar. Naruto thinks about eating it, but denies. 

“Okay, I don’t know what your conversation back there was about, but we are reaching the Mist Village soon” The boat rower guy says. The village was in sight. The team 7 leader looks to Naruto, wondering how he is taking the news. Naruto just sighs and nods as they get closer to the village. As they get closer to land, the waves are way calmer, making the Ramen lover more at ease. Still, Kakashi kept his hands on Naruto’s shoulder and back, treating him as if he would pass out at any moment.

A few minutes pass, and the rower guy says that they have arrived. The team sighs, ready to get off the boat.

“You can walk, right?” Kakashi asks plainly to Naruto. He nods, grabs his backpack, and gets up and off the boat. His legs are shaky, wobbling as if they were made of Jello. Kakashi doesn’t even think twice before scooping his shaking subordinate up and basically carrying him. Naruto sighs at how exhausted he is from his episode, and falls asleep.

“Sensei?” Sakura says, earning a hum from Kakashi. “What’s up with Naruto? Not to pry or anything, but on the boat he was acting strange. Why was that?” 

“Tch. Idiot. Were you not the one who told us not to pry and to mind our own business?” Sasuke says.

“It’s alright. I don’t think Naruto would want me to answer that question Sakura. I’ll tell you if the issue continues. I’m not quite sure either, but now I have a grasp on what our team needs to work on.” The team 7 leader says.

“And what’s that?” Sasuke says.

“Feelings.” Kakashi says, smirking under his mask.


	4. Salt and Trauma, The author dying inside, and Ramadan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi forces Naruto to swim again, Naruto is an emotional wreck, and Out of character. I stuck to the whole oblivious Kakashi sensei. (NOTES AT END)

  
  


\------------------Timeskip to middle of night-----------------------------

  
  


Naruto wakes up, his breathing heavy, putting one hand against his chest to help him stabilize. Sasuke Groaned.

“Ughhhhh. Fucking Dobe. Woke me up.” Sasuke mumbled, still half asleep. The blonde didn’t reply, he just kept heaving, adjusting to his surroundings, trying to see if they were real or not. “What’s wrong with you lately?” Sasuke says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing I’m fine.” Naruto says, his breathing now under control. The black haired boy somehow didn’t believe him. 

“Look. I know something isn’t right with you. Sure, I don’t know what it is, but I will find out.”

“I’m fine Sasuke. I said that before. I’m going downstairs.” Naruto says, getting up and slowly walking downstairs.

“Yo.” Kakashi says holding his Make Out Paradise, already dressed.

“AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK?” Naruto yells in shock, now fully awake. Kakashi glares at him and shushes him.

“Yelling at this hour is not a good idea Naruto.” The Team 7 leader. The younger boy’s face burns up a bit.

“Right sorry. I’ll go back upstairs.”

“No, wait. I want to talk to you about something.” Kakashi says, stopping Naruto from going upstairs. Naruto gulps audibly.

“What is it Kaka-Sensei?” 

“About yesterday, I would like to take you to go swimming. You know. As a way to overcome your little fear.”

Naruto’s face pales visibly. “Why would you want that Sensei, I’m fine!” he says numbly, almost as if he can’t feel his tongue move.

“Naruto. You fell asleep really early, got 8 hours of sleep and it’s only 3 in the morning. Your team will be up in at least 3 hours. Come on, let's go. It’s not up for debate.” Kakashi says with no emotion, and then goes back to smiling eyes. He walks past his blue eyed subordinate, and pats his head. 

_Crap crap crap I don’t have appropriate swimwear._ Naruto thinks. _Oh I know! I can just transform using my Sexy Jutsu in my normal bathing suit so that way I can swim as a girl. Even better, it covers the scars on my body!_

Going back upstairs, Naruto goes to the bathroom to change. He walks out, transforming using his sexy jutsu, a new wave of anxiety approaching him.

 _I can’t swim! I can’t- I’ll drown again! I won’t be able to get up, I'll die!_ He thinks as he walks down the stairs. Kakashi looks him in the eye, then looks up and down at him, blushing at how underdressed his subordinate is. Either that, or because there is a huge pair of boobs on Naruto’s chest, and he looks, well, as one would put it, sexy.

“Naruto, don’t you think this is a bit unnecessary?” Kakashi says, trying to regain his normal face color.

“Oh? Do you not like it sensei?” Naruto says softly moaning at the end to make Kakashi’s nose bleed. Sure, his sensei might like perverted things, but he at least has some decency. 

“Naruto. You are pretty much half my age. Actually, you are a bit younger than that. It’s not going to work on me. You are going to go and swim, whether you like it or not. I don’t care if you do it as a guy or a girl.” Kakashi says, obviously caring since his nose starts bleeding harder. He just does the simple deed of grabbing his supply bag and shoving two cotton balls up his nostrils.

_Eh. Worth a shot._

“Anyways, come on. Let's go. Oh. And if you didn’t feel comfortable taking your shirt off in front of me, I hope you realise that I have spare swim outfits for everyone in the team. Well, technically they’re athletic wear.” the team 7 leader says smirking.

“Why you! You should have just told me that in the first place!” Naruto says getting a bit mad. Shaking the thought, he takes the opportunity. “Can I have the spare one, Kaka-Sensei?” he says. “You know, so you don’t have to look at my Sexy jutsu any more.” he clarifies.

“Hmmmmm…..” Kakashi says, thinking. “Nope.” 

“Ehh? What do you mean no!?” the blonde says angrily.

“I’m kidding! But yeah, they are in my backpack, along with the food we brought.” the Jonin says with smiling eyes, getting his crack out of Naruto for the day. He then frowns, remembering that he will probably have to help his team member overcome his anxieties.

“Alright.” Naruto grumbles, and then goes to Kakashi’s backpack which is conveniently placed in the kitchen. He opens it, and the first thing he sees is a packet about something, right next to that is a bag with groceries. He starts digging through the bag. He finds an orange swim shirt with long sleeves, and blue swim pants. He picked it up, and then went back upstairs to change. 

After transforming back to regular Naruto he puts on the swim shirt. Sure, the sleeves were big, but it was better than the sleeves being too small. The blonde then runs back downstairs, feeling even more dread, knowing that he will not be able to stall this moment. 

“Ready?” Kakashi says. Naruto shrugs. The two walk out the house, and are on their way to the beach. Kakashi couldn’t help the feeling that Naruto was hiding something. Reaching the Beach area, Naruto shivered. Which is reasonable since It’s not even the crack of dawn. Of course the water would be cold.

“Sensei, I actually have something to do, I’ll see you-”

“No, Naruto, You are doing this, I don’t care if you want to or not.” The team 7 leader says, Gripping the collar of Naruto’s Swim shirt. Looking at his exposed shoulder, he notices something.

_Why the hell are there so many damn scars on his shoulder? They look about 2 or 3 days old too…_

“Sensei, isn’t it a bit creepy to stare at me like that? I mean, You are almost looking down my shirt. Naruto is freaking out. _Did he see my cuts? Uh, Quick, make an excuse!_

“Oh, yeah, you are looking at my shoulder. Me and Konohamaru were running from tree to tree, and I kind of got scraped in the shoulder… Hehe.” Naruto says, breaking a cold sweat. Kakashi doesn’t question it anymore. 

“Alright. So all we need to do is walk in the water, and go deep enough to swim. You will then swim, and overcome your fear so you can become a proper shinobi.” Kakashi says.

“Sensei, but you aren’t in proper swim wear.” Naruto says, and his team leader raises an eyebrow.

“I can get in the water with you if you want.” Kakashi says. Naruto trembles in embarrassment. The White haired man just chuckles. “Let's go then. And for any reason, if you start to feel bad in any way shape or form, let me know.” 

“Okay.” Naruto says nodding, his senses overwhelmed with fear and dread, already feeling horrible. Kakashi takes off his vest, then walks up to a tree, and throws it as high as possible so that nobody would be able to get it unless they really tried hard to. He walks back to the blue eyed boy, and they both walk towards the water.

“Are you good to step in the water?” the older white haired man says, and Naruto nods, taking in a deep breath. 

He puts one foot into the water, and his mind flashes a memory, a short one of him being muzzled like a dog with his hands tied with rope. Kakashi holds his team member’s arm, and the younger boy takes another step. Kakashi is right next to him as they both wade deeper into the water. The noises it makes remind Naruto of the boys snickering as they were about to throw him into the pond. The 12 foot deep pond, where Naruto almost died in.

The frightened blonde shakes his head, and takes another step forward. Water reaches his head. He still hasn’t put his head underwater. 

“Okay, now I want you to swim a little. In any direction, but you can’t swim towards shore.” the masked sensei says, and Naruto nods, shaking. “Hurry up. We need to make sure you aren’t afraid of the water at all after our trip, and if you take all day, we won't make any progress.” 

They walk farther until Naruto is just paddling his arms. Kakashi lets go of him, and the blonde forces himself to put his head underwater, but his mind was already drowning with thought.

 _“Now you will never hurt anyone!” they said as they threw me into the pond. The pond that was bigger than me, and it swallowed me whole as I went down with a splash. I tried to scream to get me out but I just took in water, I was choking, I couldn’t get back up. I wasn’t choking, I’m drowning. They killed me, I’m dying I- again- someone oh god I- I was tied up, my arms and legs were tied, I couldn’t swim up, I was dying. Why why why?_ Naruto thinks as the memory of him 2 years ago flashes in his mind. All of a sudden, the blonde feels a wave of Nausea 

Kakashi realises that Naruto was just thrashing around. At first, the Jonin didn’t know what to do, but then he realised that Naruto was not actually paying attention to swimming. He lifts Naruto up from the water, and Naruto is choking on water.

“Sensei, get me to land.”

“We haven’t even gotten-” Kakashi gets cut off.  
“Please. I promise we can go back. I just-” Naruto cuts himself off, and then starts again. “Get me to land now, I mean it. Please.” the boy pleads. And Naruto is soon hauled onto his Jonin team leader’s back once again, and swimming to shore at inhuman speed. Naruto can barely hold his Nauseous feeling in.

At the beach shore, Naruto runs to a bush, kneels down, and throws up hard. Kakashi walks up to him as he pukes his guts up- or at least that's what it looked like. Naruto hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner, so he just puked up blood and stomach acid. Kakashi looked concerned, but rubbed the younger teammates back in reassurance that he was okay.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” Kakashi said to Naruto, still rubbing his back. The boy gulps, ready to explain. 

“There were some boys in the academy two years ago, they tried to muzzle me and drown me. So, they tied me up, and threw me into a deep pond that was built near one of the students houses. They weren’t even from Iruka-Sensei’s class. I couldn’t get up from the water, I almost drowned, but Iruka found me since I wasn’t at lunch. It was 3 minutes of underwater time, according to Iruka sensei and some of the students who witnessed my leave. I-it felt so long. That wasn’t even the first time, it was the last. It happened before too, but they never really left me there, they just pushed my head under until I was coughing up water.” Naruto says, still shaking from throwing up.

“That does clear things up. I’m sorry you had to go through that multiple times. However, you still need to get over that fear. Let's go back in the water, then you can have breakfast with the rest of your team.” Kakashi says nodding. He then averts his eyes from Naruto, realising he will have to also give him the talk sometime today. Naruto nods, and gets back up, prepared to swim again.

Wading through the water again, Naruto looks at Kakashi uneasily. Kakashi looks at him back and gives him a reassuring nod. Naruto then dips his head underwater, and attempts to swim. And he succeeds, but starts to feel lightheaded. Kakashi pulls his head up above water, and grabs him so that Kakashi is now paddling his feet for the both of them to stay afloat.

“Naruto, you can’t swim if you don’t remember to breathe. So when you feel out of air, you need to come back up to the surface and breathe, remember?” the white haired man says, and the boy nods. Kakashi lets go of Naruto, and He starts to swim again.

 _“Iruka sensei, why didn’t the other boys get in trouble?” I said. Man, I was a moron. It’s because I deserve pain. Why should I be asking Iruka-Sensei? I killed his parents._ Naruto thinks, and then goes up to the surface to breathe. A choked sob escapes his throat, but He tries to suppress it. Kakashi says words of encouragement as his younger team member tries to swim again. 

\---------------TIMESKIP-----LINE-----TIMESKIP---LINE---------------------

“I think that's enough. You did well. You were able to swim. You did so good. I thought it would take a few days, but hey, you did it.” Kakashi says, and Naruto looks like he might cry. “Lets go to land now, okay?”

They went to land, and Naruto finally started crying. Kakashi, once again, had no idea on how to react. He felt a bit bad for Naruto and how the others treated him, knowing that he just rubbed salt on his subordinate's wound of childhood trauma. Hell, he would be lucky if Naruto would wake up with just a nightmare. Kakashi knew he had previously been a bit harsh, but it was for the better of Naruto. Besides, it was very rare to see his cocky team member crying. 

The team 7 leader then got his vest from up on the tree, and Walked back towards the shop owner’s house with Naruto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while to write. Ramadan started, I'm really tired, and i suck at writing. Why do I try???? 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated. Comments are appreciated. Kudos is appreciated. Just reading it is appreciated, the fact that people have wasted time to read my fanfiction is mind blowing!


	5. Writers Block, But I made it through in a month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just introducing some new stuff going on besides the lasting anxiety.

The two go back to the shopkeeper's house and Naruto is still trembling. Kakashi is back to his normal attitude.

 _Okay, maybe I can give them the talk tomorrow. Today can be all about teaching the team technique and stuff._ Kakashi thinks.

“Naruto, I can make breakfast. You can go back to sleep or something.” Kakashi said. The blonde nodded, but he secretly didn’t want to leave his sensei’s side. He just walked back up the stairs.

“What took you so long Naruto?” Sasuke says with a smirk. Naruto didn’t seem to care. He was too tired and too fed up with his team’s bullshit. 

_Great, now they seem suspicious of you! How wondrous. You might as well just grab your kunai and cut!_ The Boy’s mind yelled.

Naruto was also fed up with his mind. He still wanted to follow it though, seeing as his “good ideas” were less than ideal. He quickly grabbed his bag of toiletries, which contained a toothbrush, toothpaste, bandages, mouthwash, a mini bottle of shampoo, and a kunai. 

“Where are you going, teme?” Sasuke said, curious.

“To brush my teeth and shower. Unlike you, I prefer not to act or look like a stinky pig.” the blonde says back with almost no effort, causing Sasuke to check if he actually smells. He snarls back at Naruto, but he already went to the bathroom.

 _Just a few, I can’t go overboard. 10 on each thigh, but the cuts will be shallow._ Naruto says to himself in his mind. He grabs the kunai out of his pouch, and pulls his pants down, making cuts along his thighs. _1,2,3,4,5 okay, switch, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, what? Over already? I could do a few more on my arms…. If I’m careful, nobody will notice. Okay, I won’t count this time._

Naruto gets carried away, and soon his arms look like a crime scene. He does a few on his stomach, just because it’s less obvious, and then he steps in the shower. The water is way too hot at first, causing the blonde to hiss out in pain. The blood washes off his arms, replacing the feeling of pain with an airy feeling in his head. After doing the whole shower thing, Naruto brushes his teeth. Sakura starts knocking on the door.

“Hello? You have been in there for almost an hour, what the hell are you doing?” Sakura yells through the door.

“Alright alright I’ll come out, I was just brushing my teeth.” Naruto says, spitting mouthwash out of his mouth. He pulls his sleeves down, and opens the door. 

Sakura just pushes past him. Little does she know that she shattered Naruto again. 

_She doesn’t care. She doesn’t want anything to do with me._

Naruto then Smiles and Laughs fakely, putting his hand on his head. Walking downstairs he sees Kakashi cooking eggs and toast. There is also fruit on the table.

“Oh Naruto. Breakfast is almost ready. Just wait for your team to come down.” he says, and just on time, Sasuke comes downstairs. Naruto feels a wave of Nausea. Sure, Naruto Loved food, just the thought of keeping it down wrecked him.

“Alright. Let's just wait for Sakura.” Naruto says, and he thought he would surely be able to throw the food back up.

After a few minutes, Sakura comes down. All of them sit down at the table and eat. Besides Kakashi, who already ate so he didn’t have to show his students his face. Naruto eats a few pieces of fruit and then some cereal. 

Naruto feels a wave of nasuea after eating cereal and 3 grapes. _I need to go throw up I ate too much_

“Excuse me I finished eating. Gonna use the bathroom.” Naruto says and then runs upstairs. He goes to the bathroom, and sticks two fingers down his throat

Throwing up one, twice, and three times, and then brushing his teeth. HE goes downstairs lightheaded and empty. Sure, it didn’t feel good, but the previous events of the day had already happened, and it felt in control and better than that.

He goes downstairs, where Sakura is washing the dishes. Naruto sits down on the couch, and Sasuke sits down next to him.

“We need to meet outside near the small woods Kakashi wants to teach us something.” Sasuke says and the blue eyed boy groans.

“Sure thing.” Naruto says. And gets up to walk out the door. Sasuke stared at Naruto. Why was he so out of character? Why didn’t he notice Naruto’s behavior before?

Team 7 meets in the woods, and Kakashi begins talking.

“Today we aren’t going to train with weapons. We will be talking about something else.” Kakashi says, pausing and then continuing. “Sometimes in situations you screw up, or just don’t know what's going on, and you panic. Panicking leads to dying. So We will be trying to prevent your deaths. Alright.” 

“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” Sakura asks, and the jonin chuckles.

“That’s because some of us are bad at this kind of stuff.” Kakashi says, then looks at all three of them with smiling eyes. “Let's get started, okay? Let’s do a scenario. Sakura, come forward since you were first to ask a question.” 

Sakura steps forward, and Kakashi quickly runs behind her and grabs her hands. He then covers her mouth, then proceeds to tie her hands up with tape bandages he keeps in his kunai pouch. 

“I know what you did. I know information about you. I will kill you if you don’t say your worst secret.” Kakashi sensei says in a menacing tone causing Sakura to gasp and try to bite down on Kakashi’s hand. The jonin didn’t even flinch.

Naruto Jumps, and Sasuke gives Kakashi a strange questioning look. Sakura looks like she might cry. Now, Sakura wasn’t in any real harm with Kakashi. He didn’t actually startle her, and nor was she actually scared. The Team 7 leader had asked Sakura’s permission while she was washing dishes if he could tie her up for the lesson. Sakura also knew that if Kakashi actually hurt her in any way or made her uncomfortable, Kakashi would stop. 

“Go on Sakura. Tell me. Or you die.” Kakashi says, reaching for a kunai. He glances at Sakura for permission to do so, so he knows he isn’t taking it too far. Sakura flashes a quick nod. Kakashi pulls out the kunai.

Sasuke starts to move forward, he knows that it’s just for a lesson, but for some reason, seeing Sakura acting scared and weak makes him want to make a move. He knows it’s a test, and so does Naruto. But they still respond differently. 

“Get any closer and there will be harm done.” Kakashi says, and Sasuke stops. Thinking rationally would be a good idea, but Kakashi is really getting under his skin. Sasuke flares his nostrils, and moves forward regardless. Kakashi puts his kunai closer to Sakura’s neck. The pink haired girl does not respond kindly.

Sakura kicks Kakashi’s leg twice, as a way to signal that she wasn’t okay with Kakashi putting the Kunai that close.

Luckily, the white haired man takes the hint, and puts the kunai a few inches back. Naruto is moving forward, and Kakashi takes the opportunity to drop Sakura, tackle him and pin him against a tree. He uses the Tape bandages to tape his wrists together, and put him against a tree. 

The team 7 leader then takes this chance to grab Sasuke and do the same. Looking pleased with himself, Kakashi smiles.

“Okay, I have now assessed what we need to work on. You will be staying like this the whole lesson. Now that that's clear, I need to make sure you are okay with me triggering you in certain ways, including but not limited to Yelling at you, threatening you, taunting you, making you feel powerless, and putting you through stressful situations.” Kakashi says, and everyone nods. To be honest, the Team 7 leader did not want to do this, but what choice did he have?

Naruto hoped Kakashi wouldn’t do something absolutely horrible. The fact that the boy was already at his low point would make the lesson harder. Kakashi starts the lesson by telling the team that he will not stop himself or hold back from the lesson.

Kakashi started the Lesson with Sakura, since she would be the easiest. _Maybe I could threaten Sakura. That should do since she seems really bad at pressuring situations._ He thought.

Kakashi rips the tape off Sakura’s mouth, and then proceeds to lay her on the ground. He combs his fingers through her hair as a way of reassurance. Sakura just nodded, and Kakashi took that as an opportunity to start.

“If you don’t tell me your worst secret I will hurt you.” the team 7 leader says threateningly. Of course, he is feeling pretty bad about this idea, but his students need to learn.

“I won’t tell you anything…” Sakura mumbled. Realising that her speech was kind of weak, she says it again. “I won’t tell you anything. I won’t!” Sakura says again. 

“I said I would hurt you. If you don’t tell me, So tell me.” Kakashi says menacingly. He grabs the Kunai again, causing Sakura to hold back tears. 

“I- Won’t tell you anything!” Sakura says, her bottom lip quivering. 

“Sakura, You are holding back tears in a poor way. Tilt your head back and close your eyes. If that doesn’t work, blink your eyes rapidly.” The white haired man said calmly. Sakura obeyed. 

“Like I said, I will NOT give you information. Do what you want, I won’t say anything.” Sakura says more firmly.

“That’s better. You need to work on not showing your emotions easily. I really don’t feel like continuing this. Just practice hiding your emotions please. That's a thing you must need to learn. Okay?” Kakashi says, and Sakura nods, letting out a breath.

“I thought this would have taken longer.” She says, letting out a small laugh.

“Oh trust me, the others should be way longer.” Kakashi says with smiling eyes. He then pushes her back against the ground, and cuts off the bandage tape that was tying her arms together.

  
  


Yeah, the other two lessons are not going to be easy for Kakashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was crap. I just had some real bad art block. Between Ramadan, Cosplaying, Protests, learning how to code, and eating too much watermelon, life has been stressful. But I'm pulling through. I might get a new vest and wig for my Kakashi cosplay since my old ones are kinda old and worn out. Once again, sorry.


	6. Training and OOC Kakashi and Naruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke becomes a Femboy, Kakashi catches Naruto throwing up, and Sakura is still clueless. Kakashi acts like Naruto and Sasuke's dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up until 1:26 AM to write this. And then stayed up even later to edit this. And I may have had a few panic attacks writing this due to lack of sleep and discomfort, but I'm good now! Please point out any grammar or spelling mistakes so I could fix them! By the way, I have some good news, the next chapter is not gonna be angsty! Yep, we are going to have some wholesomely unwholesome family bonding time between Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke! But on a serious note, do not throw up your food for the feeling of control. Please. It doesn't feel as good as you would think it feels. It sucks. Know that you are loved, and if not by anyone else, then loved and cared by me.

Kakashi looks over at Sasuke, and then says “You’re next.” He then walks over to him and takes the tape off his mouth. Kakashi Hit him on the back.

“Oh what the fuck?” Sasuke says out of shock. He didn’t expect the older man to come at him that fast, or that soon for the matter.

“Stop swearing. I doubt you would ever even be able to do your job as your clans avenger.” Kakashi says, which made Sasuke ball up his fists.

“What do you even know about that?” Sasuke says. Kakashi quickly thinks about a hurtful thing to say, and then he says it.

“Oh please. Just admit it, you know you aren’t fit for the job either.” the team 7 leader says, and Sasuke yells at him to shut up. Kakashi doesn’t stop.

“STOP!” Sasuke yells, and Kakashi proceeds to taunt him. Kakashi knows that Sasuke had known better than to yell like that. The lesson was not going anywhere. The masked sensei flicks Sasuke on the back of the neck and tells him to stop being an arrogant brat.

“Your clan probably didn’t want you as an avenger. Nobody would want an avenger who can’t even do anything but yell at me to stop.” Kakashi says. Sasuke tries to calm down, but does not do well. He squirms and tries to free himself from Kakashi, who is using his knees to hold his black haired teammates legs down, and who is also holding an arm on his back. 

“Shut the fuck up! Shut up! I’ll snap your neck when I get a chance!” Sasuke threatens. The Jonin sighs.

“Sasuke. Just because I said something about your clan doesn’t mean you can yell. That will get us killed on an actual mission.” Kakashi says. Sasuke squirms and rolls his eyes, baring his teeth. “Hey. Listen.” Kakashi says, making Sasuke face him as he gets off his legs. “If you get offended and go after somebody just because they insulted you, then you are bound to get hurt.” 

“Yeah, ok. Whatever.” Sasuke says, and Kakashi continues insulting him.

“Your clan wouldn’t want you anyways.” the white haired man says, and Sasuke just sucks it up and balls his fists up. “Really, you couldn’t do any harm to anyone if you tried.” 

Sasuke still didn’t reply. He tried not to show his anger. Kakashi Looked at Sasuke, and continued insulting his clan and his attitude a bit more. 

“You didn’t even stop the person who killed the clan! Did you even want to stop them?” Kakashi said, and Sasuke still didn’t reply, doing as Kakashi had said earlier. “Sasuke. I think you got my point. I’m going to let you go.” Kakashi says, grabbing his kunai and cutting his team members hands free. The black haired boy didn’t say anything. Sasuke made a fist with his hands again, and lunged at a tree. Punching it and tearing the skin on his knuckles. He was biting his bottom lip too, drawing blood.

As soon as Kakashi realized what was going on, he ran over to Sasuke. “Stop this right now.” Kakashi said, but Sasuke didn’t listen, causing Kakashi to just grab his wrists to stop him. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Kakashi asks Sasuke calmly. “This isn’t the way you deal with anger Sasuke.” 

“Yeah, but it’s the only way I know how to.” Sasuke says, his legs giving out. Kakashi Hoists him on his back, and then grabs his backpack, taking both of them to a more private place in the woods. Sasuke bites his lip again out of pain, and Kakashi seems to notice, since there was blood dripping on the back of his neck.

“Sasuke, please don’t bite your lip. It could cause permanent damage.” Kakashi says, putting his teammate down. “Now, would you live to tell me what that was about?”

“It wasn’t about anything. I-I just… I-” Sasuke curses himself for stuttering. “It just wasn’t anything. And besides, it’s not like this hasn’t happened before. You just haven’t seen it.” 

“Look, You can’t just punch something until you bleed. It’s not healthy. I didn't mean what I said either, I would never mean such a thing. You could try talking to someone instead of punching stuff. Or just accept that you are mad and take some breaths.” Kakashi says, and then pulls sasuke on his lap. Kakashi grabs some gauze and bandages and starts working on Sasuke’s knuckles, which look bruised and bloody. 

“I didn’t mean it, Sasuke. Please forgive the tone I used. You could do whatever you want. I didn’t mean whatever I said about your clan either, okay? But you can’t continue punching things to get your anger out. It’s unhealthy.” Kakashi says, and then switches to the other hand. After he finishes wrapping the bandages, he looks Sasuke directly in the eye. “Sasuke, I know I’m your teacher, but seeing as you didn’t have family to teach you right and wrong, coming from your teacher, this isn’t right. There are so many other things.” he says, looking his raven haired teammate in the eye.

“Then what do I do?” Sasuke says numbly.

“I don’t know! I’m not a master at any of this either!” 

“Alright then.” Sasuke says, feeling a distance between them. It’s not there, since they are right next to each other, but it’s present in the back of the boy’s thoughts. After a while, Kakashi pulls out his wallet.

“Since I don’t know how you can deal with shit instead of punching it, just go buy yourself a way to cope. I will be checking what you bought, and you have to buy something. You can’t buy rope, blades, alcohol from random people on the streets, you are too young to be an alcoholic and too young to drink in general, drugs of any sorts, especially street drugs, and no live animals- or dead animals for that matter.” the team 7 leader says, and Sasuke tries to tell him no, but Kakashi interrupts. “You will spend this money. I won’t accept it back unless you buy something.” 

Sasuke nods, still unsure about the idea, takes the money, and shakily gets up with the help of his sensei. He then walks the fuck out of there. Kakashi walks back to where Naruto is, and for some reason, he is trembling in fear. Kakashi rips the medical tape of his mouth, and then kneels to the younger boy's height.

“What happened.”

“Huh? Nothing sensei- I just don’t really want....” Naruto tries saying, but trails off. 

“You don’t want me to trigger emotions? Well, I can’t say that isn’t fair... You did go through a lot this morning. Actually, I’m just going to teach you some breathing exercises.”

-Author-san finds breathing exercises make them feel self conscious about their breaths, lets see what Sasuke is up to!-

Sasuke looks around the store.  _ I have everything I need already. The only thing left is womens clothing. Wait….  _ He walks over to the women's section and looks at it briefly before he might chicken out on his idea. He goes over to the dresses, and looks at a cheongsam dress, similar to the one Sakura wears, but in blue and gray. Sasuke grabs it, still freaking out on the thought that he might actually own a dress. He then looks around a mit more, finding some cute skirts, frilly, short, pleated, puffy, and layered skirts. Looking through them, Sasuke decides to pick a short pleated mini skirt, along with a knee length skirt and frilly skirt. Sasuke also got some high heeled boots and a set of laced socks and gloves since they are currently on sale.

_ Wait… Should I get some… no… actually, maybe I’ll get a bra, why not.  _ He thinks. He grabs a small bra, wired and in a pack of 2. They were on the 2nd smallest size for A cups. Sasuke walked to the very back and looked for some makeup, settling with the basics, foundation, eyeliner, mascara,blush, lipstick, and an eyeshadow pallet that included highlights and bronzer. Sure, Sasuke had no clue what he was doing and why he was wasting money, but you can’t blame a guy for wanting to look pretty! It wasn’t like Sasuke was trans or anything, in fact, Sasuke often engaged in acts of toxic masculinity, but he just thought he would be hot as fuck in a dress. 

Waiting in line for checkout seems like forever in the moment. Sasuke feels sketchy, but he still refuses to chicken out. As it’s his turn to check out, the cashier gives him a strange look. Sasuke averts his eyes and then waits for the cashier to finish checking the items. He pays the certain amount of money, then books the hell out. He runs back to the house. Sasuke then lies down on the bed, waiting for his teammates to come back.

-Timeskip to when Naruto and Kakashi are back because I started having a panic attack while writing and I decided that I wanted to make a change of plans-

“We’re back.” Kakashi says, and then guides the exhausted Naruto to the couch. Sakura greets the two for being back, and then goes to the kitchen to start getting stuff ready for Kakashi to cook. “Wait, Sakura, Save that food for tomorrow's lunch. We’re getting takeout.since I don’t feel like cooking. Could you get us some Ramen or something? You already know our orders.” 

“Sure thing sensei.” Sakura says as Kakashi hands her some Cash. Kakashi then goes upstairs to check on Sasuke.

“Yo. Sasuke.” Kakashi says, and Sasuke turns his head and makes a questioning noise. “Show me what you got. All of it.” Kakashi says, and Sasuke reaches for the bag.

Sasuke chickens out half way. “Um, sensei? Would it be okay for me to show Sakura this stuff and get the okay from her?” the raven haired boy says nervously.

“Eh? Sakura isn’t here now, she’s getting us takeout. What are you so afraid about?” Kakashi chuckles. 

“What? I’m not afraid! It’s just that I don’t want you to misinterpret it.” Sasuke mumbles. 

“Okay then, how about you leave the room, and I look through the bag all by myself.” The masked jonin offers. Sasuke nods.

“But just so you know, I am still a guy. I haven’t done this before. And if you poke fun at me I’ll punch you in the gut.” Sasuke says, and then hands the bag to Kakashi. He then runs out the door and shuts it. He doesn’t go any farther than the shut door, mainly so he could make sure Kakashi isn’t laughing at him.

“Well this is a surprise.” the masked sensei murmurs. Sasuke can hear him looking through the bag, but he doesn’t laugh. “I mean, I can’t be against it, can I?” He says. The raven haired boy sighs and walks downstairs. Soon after Kakashi comes downstairs. He then walks straight out the door, only to come back 10 minutes later with filled shopping bags and Sakura behind him holding takeout bags.

“Alright, lets eat!” the team 7 leader says. Naruto gets up from the couch, feeling uneasy. He does manage to eat 5 bites. 

“Sensei, I can’t eat anymore.” Naruto grumbles out before dumping his food in the trash and running upstairs, only for Kakashi to follow him. The boy never seemed full for ramen. Naruto locks the bathroom door and shoves the back of his toothbrush down his throat, causing him to gag. He pushes it a bit farther until he manages to feel bile rise, and then he throws up. He does this 3 times before brushing his teeth and curling into a ball against the sink cabinets. Kakashi unlocks the door using the key to the house (which handily unlocked every door in the house).

“What happened?” Kakashi questions. Naruto’s head shoots up. 

“H-Huh? Nothing happened sensei!” the boy stammers out. The jonin crouches to his level.

“Bullshit. You’ve been doing this for a while based on the way it sounded. As a ninja, you can’t afford to be below average weight. Sakura had this same problem and it almost cost her life during training. I have to report this to lord third when we go back. That way I can supervise your meals daily and supervise your food intake.” Kakashi says. 

“You can’t do that! I’m fine! It’s not as bad as it sounds! You don’t even have the reasoning behind it. Besides. I can’t tell you, it’s embarrassing.” the blonde tries.

“You will tell me once during this trip. It’s either that or me forcing you to resign from your role as a ninja, and I don’t think you want the second option.” Kakashi firmly states, standing his ground. Naruto gasps and black dots appear in his vision. He slumps back. The jonin picks him up and goes back downstairs with him. He grabs some grapes from one of the bags he brought from the hidden leaf, and puts them in a bowl. After washing them he puts Naruto in a chair and sits down next to him.

Naruto sighs and stares at the grapes. “Do I have to?” he whispers.

“Yes. If you don’t I will feed them to you, and what’s more embarrassing? Eating them by yourself, or having your sensei hand feed them to you as if you were a small child.” Kakashi warns strongly. 

The blue eyed boy sighs and picks up a grape and eats it. After six grapes the boy decides He doesn’t want any more. He pushes the bowl away.

“We are going to sit here until you finish the whole bowl. Green grapes are easier to digest than most other fruits by 10 minutes. I didn’t even give you that much.” Kakashi says softly.

“I can’t eat it.” Naruto whispers. “I can’t eat more.”

“Why not? It won’t hurt to eat more. You don’t need to limit your food intake to such little amounts for some reason.”

“Control.” the boy blurts out

“What?”

“I do it for the feeling of c-control.” Naruto whispers out

“You don’t need to do that kid. It’s not safe. There are better things to do instead of ruining your throat.” Kakashi explains. “Please finish your grapes now. You are almost halfway done.” 

Naruto eats 2 more grapes slowly, on the verge of tears. “I don’t want to eat anymore. Please. Don’t make me eat any more. I promise I will eat in the morning, please. I can’t eat anymore. I can’t do it.” The team 7 leader sighs. He pushes his seat right next to Naruto and takes off his gloves.

“Look. You will finish this, even if I have to feed you. I know you didn’t really grow up with parents, so just don’t bite on my fingers. God, you’re acting like a little kid.” the white haired man says, grabbing a grape with his hands and putting it up to Naruto’s mouth. “Open your mouth kid.” 

Naruto eats the grape. “I’m sorry sensei. Don’t hate me.” Naruto mumbles, a silent stream of tears going down his face. 

“You’re about halfway there, only a few more grapes left to go.” Kakashi comforts the boy by rubbing his back. Sure, Kakashi had no clue what he was doing, but the fact that this kid had been left alone so often that he discovered a habit as bad as this one means that he needed to at least do something, even if that something was caring for him and trying to fix his habits. After a little longer there were only 2 grapes left. “Look, we made it so far. We only have 2 grapes left!” Kakashi chuckles.

The masked jonin then eats one grape and feeds the other to Naruto. The poor kid was full on crying at this point. 

“You should change. We spent almost an hour here, you should sleep.” 

“I guess I should.” the boy agrees. He felt like throwing up.

“You better not throw up okay? I’ll be standing outside the bathroom while you change to make sure.” Kakashi says. After they both change they go to sleep. Kakashi went to one of the futons they laid out, and Naruto slept in a sleeping bag in the living room since there were only 3 futons and one actual bed that nobody could sleep on since it was off limits. The team planned on taking turns with sleeping bags before the mission. 

-Timeskip to the middle of the night-

Naruto wakes up with a loud gasp, his heart pounding. He slides out of the oversized sleeping bag, his breathing heavy from the nightmare he had. His legs wobbled as he tried to walk up the stairs. He was shaking all over. He needed to find an empty room, closet, or something empty, anything! 

Naruto falls to the ground and lies against a wall next to the locked door.

“Who’s there?” the boy hears someone say, and the door opens to see kakashi in a nightgown with a different mask on. “Oh.”

Kakashi didn’t even think twice before picking Naruto up and bringing him to the futon. 

“Sorry. Did I wake you?” the younger boy croaks out.

“Yeah. But that’s fine. I’ll sleep in the sleeping bag then.”

“Sensei?”

“Yeah?”

“...” Naruto doesn’t finish what he was going to say.

“Sure, I could stay.”

“You know sensei, you would make a great dad if you ever have kids.” Naruto says, catching Kakashi by surprise.

“You might regret saying that.” Kakashi says, remembering what he promised Iruka before the trip. Kakashi lies down on the futon and soon enough, Naruto is dead asleep.


	7. Education and it's awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TALKS OF SEXUAL EDUCATION, IF YOU DO NOT WANNA READ THAT, PLEASE SKIP ALL THE PARTS AFTER SAKURA LEAVES TO THE FESTIVAL. That's all, stay safe you all!!

Naruto wakes up, and Kakashi is not next to him. He lies in bed for a few more minutes after hearing talking downstairs.

“Sasuke, I got you some more stuff related to the clothes you bought. I want you to wear this nightgown dress, mainly because it was on sale and I thought It looked cute.” 

“Okay sensei, but also what the fuck? I already spent a lot of your money.”

“Sasuke. I barely gave you any money. And also watch your language. We don’t need Sakura picking up in your language.” Kakashi says. Sakura walks out of the kitchen, and the team 7 leader remembers what he needs to talk to the team about. “Sakura, after breakfast I want you to spend time at the festival until dinner. You find something to eat for lunch outside.” Kakashi chuckles out nervously. “Now for the other thing I need to tell you guys. You all know how Sakura would restrict her food intake and let her nutrition levels drop?” the two nod, and Kakashi continues. “The same thing is currently happening with Naruto for different reasons. He isn’t really doing great at the moment. So I will be monitoring his food intake and nutrition alongside Sakura. My guess is that he feels alone and thinks you guys don’t care about him. So if I catch you putting Naruto down, calling him names, talking about his appearance, or anything of that sort, you will have a two week suspension for training and will be put behind. Got it?” he makes it clear, threateningly.

“Oh. So that’s what’s up with him. Wait, now won’t you have to make sure both Sakura and Naruto are eating properly?” Sasuke says and Kakashi nods. 

Naruto gets up and walks downstairs. Kakashi goes to the kitchen to help make breakfast. After a few minutes the team is setting up the table.

Nobody said a word when Kakashi sat next to Naruto encouraging him to keep eating and comforting him. Sakura was on the other side of Kakashi, not saying a word or even laughing, mainly because she remembered that this was her at one time. Now, Sakura was mainly fine now, but Kakashi wanted to make sure it stayed that way 

After breakfast everyone changes out of their nightgowns, but not necessarily into the clothes they would wear every day outside. Sasuke changes into a dress that Kakashi bought him, and Naruto wears a long sleeve shirt and cargo shorts. Sakura wears her normal everyday outfit, and so does Kakashi.

The second the table is cleaned up, Sakura walks out the door to explore the festival going on. Kakashi then tells the boys to sit down back on the table.

“What’s this about Kaka-sensei?” Naruto questions and Kakashi is filled with dread.

“Iruka sensei made me promise to teach you about puberty and sex. So here we are now. And I better not hear any complaints, I don’t like this either.” The two boys blushed and their faces went red. “It’s okay to laugh out of the situation, but don’t be rude and judging.” 

“Yeah yeah okay we get it.” Sasuke says, rolling his eyes. Kakashi pulls out a few pamphlets and diagrams and starts the lesson.

“Okay, let's start with the reproductive system, and move our way up. The reproductive system is a system that changes during puberty and is used to have sex, which can make babies.” Kakashi says and then continues. “The male reproductive system consists of the Penis and the scrotum. The male reproductive system comes in all shapes and sizes, which is weird enough to say, but worse to explain. They can be circumcised, or uncircumcised. We’ll talk about that later or something. The parts on the inside of the male reproductive system are the testicles, epididymis, vas deferens, seminal vesicles, prostate gland, cowper's glands, urethra, and the cremaster.” 

“Cool cool, but what's the point of having so many parts? Isn’t all you need to do is insert “it” into “the other thing” and feel pleasure? So what’s the extra stuff for?” Naruto questions, causing Kakashi to chuckle.

“It doesn’t work like that unfortunately. Learning things from porno magazines isn’t really helpful. The testicles are your balls- b- yeah pretty much, y’know, lets just continue. The epididymis is a tube that your sperm matures in and is connected to your testicles. Vas deferens carries sperm to the epididymis, which there are two of. Seminal vesicles produce semen. Semen contains sperm which is used to make a woman pregnant. The prostate gland makes fluid that helps sperm move. The cowper's gland makes pre-come, which is used to prepare you for when you are ready to come. The urethra carries urine, pre-come, and semen to the urethral opening. The urethra itself is a tube that leads to the opening at the tip of your penis.” Kakashi explains, and both boys laugh as Kakashi points to each part on the diagram while his face turns beet red.

“I hate learning about this already.” Sasuke says, tugging on his dress. Nobody questioned the fact that he was wearing a dress.

“Okay, so moving on, sperm is basically a cluster of cells used to create babies.” the team 7 leader says before getting interrupted.

“Do you need it to create kids though?” Sasuke asks curiously.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Kakashi replies.

“Like, absolutely no way without it?”

“Basically.” 

“Damn.”

“Okay, now back at it with the Female reproductive system.” Kakashi continues. “The job of the female reproductive system is to provide the egg. The egg is fertilized when sperm attaches itself to it. Now, I’m just going to hand you a pamphlet which you will read since I don’t feel comfy talking about female parts when I’m a male.”

“Kakashi- Sensei I’ve literally seen you read porn in public” Naruto points out.

“Well- yeah but still.” Kakashi says, handing them a short pamphlet with detailed explanations. After they finished reading it, Sasuke looks disgusted.

“Sakura wants to- I have to put my- if she did it unprotected i could get- what the ever loving fuck Kakashi I’m never forgiving you” Sasuke mumbles.

“Wait Sasuke, you didn’t sneak into the stores to look at erotic magazines? Or were you too busy plotting revenge?” Naruto snickers.

“Alright you two, let's get back to it.” the white haired man interrupts. “So, you will also grow hair down there…”

“DUDE FUCKING HELL NO.” Sasuke yells and covers his ears. “I’M NOT LISTENING.” 

-Time skip line-

“Alright, we’re done with this lesson, now you know all about stds, Sex, and Puberty, We will be celebrating the festival. Sasuke, wear something you bought and let me rebandage your arms. Don’t take too long doing makeup or whatever.” Kakashi says.

“Yeah yeah (ayo singing challenge)” Sasuke replies back.

About fifteen minutes later Everyone is dressed, but Sasuke is still poking his eyes out with eyeliner.

“I think we should check on Sasuke.” Naruto says. Kakashi and Naruto begin walking up the stairs to check on Sasuke.

“FUCK. GOD DAMMIT.” Sasuke yells, wiping off his makeup for the 3rd time. It was so hard to put on makeup when you hadn’t done it before, and even harder when your hands were injured and bandaged.

“Need some help there Sasuke?” Kakashi jokingly asks, and Sasuke mumbles a yes under his breath which shocked Kakashi. 

“You gonna help me?” Sasuke says.And Kakashi shuffles over. Kakashi was about to look over at Naruto for help, only to discover that Naruto had ditched. 

“So I’m not an expert at this or anything, but I’ll try. Blue eyeshadow seems nice since you had wiped off all of your previous makeup which by the look of the wipes, it was green.” Kakashi says, grabbing the eyeshadow brush that was in Sasuke’s hand, and then trying to apply some to his face without making a mess.

Sasuke looked in the mirror. “Not too bad, but if I were to ask Sakura She would have done it better,”

“Yeah but I’m not Sakura, I'm your Team Leader.” Kakashi jokes as Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, but I might not be all that good at the eye lining stuff, what’s it called? Eyeliner? But I’ll try.”

-Time skip-

“Okay, Time for the festival.” Kakashi says after almost 20 minutes of just fixing and redoing makeup. 

“Looks pretty okay.” Sasuke says. Kakashi shrugged. They grabbed Naruto and walked outside.


End file.
